Do you have a problem with your anger?
John was the typical man that has come to my office for help with his anger. He didn’t really get angry at work and his friends would have described him as a very easy-going guy. Sometimes he would mumble something under his breath at another driver or even give someone the finger but everyone does that, right? His wife and kids knew a different side of him though. He was often irritable at home. When his wife reminded him to take the trash out, he snapped at her. “She treats me like I’m a kid” he thought to himself. When he had to tell his kids a fourth time that it was time to get ready for bed, he yelled at them too. Unfortunately losing his temper with his family was becoming a more frequent occurrence. The last thing he wanted was for his kids to be afraid of him. He promised himself time and time again that he wouldn’t do this anymore. But here he was again, feeling guilty and ashamed for yet another outburst. He could tell they felt like they needed to walk on eggshells around him. This was not the husband he wanted to be for his wife or the father he wanted to be for his kids.
Does this sound like you or someone you know? Many people think that someone with problem anger must be the person who is getting into fist fights or throwing plates against the wall or swearing at the top of his lungs at the guy who took his parking spot. Sure…all of that qualify as an anger issue. And I have seen plenty of people like that over the years. But the more typical client is someone like John. Only those closest to him see his angry side. Usually it is not a new problem but one that has existed for years. The family comes to expect the periodic outbursts and although they have gotten used to it, they don’t like them. His wife wonders how much longer she can put up with this. And sometimes John worries too that he is pushing his family away.
The good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. John can be the kind of husband and father that he wants to be. One of the first steps is understanding the factors contributing to his outbursts. I will discuss these factors further in a later blog- things like learned behavior from childhood, high levels of current stress, unrealistic expectations of self and others, poor sleep, self-esteem problems, depression and more. Once you understand what is driving your anger, you are on your way to taming it.
So do you have a problem with your anger? If you have read this far, you likely have some concerns about it. Give me a call today and let’s get you on the road to being the kind of person you want to be.